User:GoldenSandslash15/VoyagerAbridged6

(Mess Hall)

Janeway: Coffee, black.

Neelix: I have something even better.

Janeway: Neelix, I am in no mood. I'm only going to say this once. Coffee. Black.

Neelix: But this substitute is better.

Janeway: Neelix, if there are two words my replicator got sick of me saying, it is "Coffee, Black." Believe me, you WILL learn to make coffee if you want to continue to serve me.

(Ready Room)

Replicator: Just once, I'd like her to say "Tea, Earl Grey, Hot."

(Logo appears - Star Trek Voyager: The Abridged Series)

(Bridge)

Tuvok: Sensors are picking up a nebula.

Janeway: There's coffee in that nebula. Let's go. Coffeecoffeecoffeecofffeecoffeecoffeecoffee.

(Hallway)

Paris: I'm telling you, Harry. Let's check out the holodeck. You'll love it.

Kim: The whole point is to SAVE energy. We shouldn't use the holodecks, except when necessary for training exercises.

Paris: Holodecks are fun.

Kim: They break too easily.

Paris: No they don't.

Kim: Computer, list every episode where a holodeck program goes wrong.

(Text on Screen)

TAS: The Practical Joker TNG: The Big Goodbye TNG: 11001001 TNG: Elementary, Dear Data TNG: Manhunt TNG: A Matter of Perspective TNG: Hollow Pursuits TNG: Future Imperfect TNG: A Fistful of Datas TNG: Ship in a Bottle TNG: Homeward TNG: Emergence DS9: Our Man Bashir DS9: Inquisition DS9: His Way DS9: Take Me Out to the Holosuite DS9: It's Only A Paper Moon DS9: Badda-Bing Badda-Bong VOY: Heroes and Demons VOY: Projections VOY: Alter Ego VOY: Real Life VOY: Worst Case Scenario VOY: The Killing Game VOY: Extreme Risk VOY: Once Upon a Time VOY: Bride of Chaotica! VOY: Pathfinder VOY: Fair Haven VOY: Spirit Folk VOY: Flesh and Blood VOY: Human Error VOY: Author, Author ENT: Unexpected ENT: These Are the Voyages…

Kim: And how many where nothing went wrong?

(Text on screen)

What? Don't look at me. There aren't any.

Kim: I rest my case.

Paris: Come on, Harry, have a little fun.

(Chakotay's quarters)

Chakotay: A-koo-chee-moya. We are far from the sacred places of our grandfathers, and from the bo-

(Doorbell rings)

Chakotay: Come in.

(Janeway walks in)

Chakotay: I hope this is important. You interrupted my spiritual practices.

Janeway: Your spiritual practices?

Chakotay: Exactly. I try to contact my animal guide the same way that my ancestors did. With a piece of 24th century technology. That's what Native Americans did, right?

Janeway: Can you help me find mine?

Chakotay: Sure.

(Janeway's vision quest)

Janeway: It's a lizard. Oh, my animal guide, give me some advice.

Lizard: I'm here to tell you that you can save big bucks by switching to Geico!

Janeway: Never mind. This vision quest thing is dumb. I won't do it ever again.

(Bridge)

Tuvok: The nebula is a lifeform.

Janeway: Not for long. Kill it.

(Voyager fires a photon torpedo)

Janeway: I got my coffee back!

(Xbox 360 Achievement Unlocked: Coffee Maniac appears at the bottom of the screen)

Janeway: Let's continue home. With coffee.

(Text on Screen)

THE END

By GoldenSandslash

(Enterprise Ready Room)

Picard: Tea, Earl Grey, Hot.

Replicator: Just once, I wish he'd say, "Coffee, Black."