I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General

I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General is a satirical song from the operetta The Pirates of Penzance by Gilbert and Sullivan. It depicts a military leader, a major general who is well-educated in every field except the ones that a military leader ought to be knowledgeable about.

In 2368, Beverly Crusher convinced Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge to attempt the Major-General's song. However, La Forge's rendition was interrupted when the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-D) collided with a quantum filament. 

The first verse of the song began as follows:

I am the very model of a modern Major-General,

I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,