User:GoldenSandslash15/VoyagerAbridged5

(Transporter Room)

Neelix: Yayz! I can goez on away missionz nao!

Chakotay: Just don't do anything stupid that'll make me regret this.

(Text on screen)

0.000000047 seconds later…

(On the planet)

Neelix: Someone stole my lungs!

Chakotay: Then how did you say "Someone stole my lungs!"?

Neelix: If you point out all of the plotholes, we'll have to add an additional two centuries to our journey.

Chakotay: Point taken.

(The logo appears - Star Trek Voyager: The Abridged Series)

(Sickbay)

The Doctor: Neelix is stuck in this room for the rest of his life.

(canned applause from the audience)

(exterior view of Voyager)

Janeway: Captain's Log, Stardate 48532.4. We are pursuing the aliens that stole Neelix's lungs. By the way, log entries are a great way to avoid having to actually show material.

(Sickbay)

Neelix: I'm bored. Can you sing to me or something?

The Doctor: Me? Sing? Never in a million years.

(Bridge)

Paris: They're in the asteroid.

Janeway: Pursue them.

Paris: What do you think this is, The Millennium Falcon? We can't just go straight in there.

Janeway: Do it anyways.

Paris: Okay.

(They go in, and see the mirrors)

Paris: Which one is it?

Janeway: Who cares? Just fire phasers. We'll hit the real one eventually. Fire. Fire. Fire. Fire. Fire. Fire. Fire. Fire. Fire.

(Transporter Room)

(The two Vidiians beam aboard)

Janeway: Give Neelix his lungs back.

Vidiian #1: Why? You actually want to save him?

Janeway: Don't blame me, it's the writers. If it were up to me, we would have fired phasers the instance we saw his debris field.

Vidiian #1: But the Talaxian trait for annoyance is stored in the lungs. If you get his lungs back, he'll annoy you further.

Janeway: Okay. Get off my ship.

Vidiian #2: But the Talaxian trait for annoyance isn't in the lungs.

Vidiian #1: Shut up.

Janeway: Wait, what?

Vidiian #1: Damn.

Chakotay: I guess you have a moral dilemma over killing a living being to save a member of your crew.

Janeway: I FREAKING HATE TIME TRAVEL!

Chakotay: Uh, Captain…?

Janeway: This is what happens with Tuvix.

Vidiian #2: Well, we could always save Neelix without killing ourselves.

(Text on screen)

One operation later…

(Sickbay)

Neelix: I'll live!

(canned booing from the audience)

(Text on Screen)

THE END

By GoldenSandslash

(Sickbay)

Vidiian #2: Which one of you will give up a lung to save him?

Kes: I will. That way, even when I'm gone, Neelix will always remember me.

(canned laughter from the audience)