User:ZephramCochran

Hello! As you all know, I am the famous (err... infamous....) Zefram Cochrane. (Or... err... I pretend to be.) I am an expert in warp drive theory, and everybody likes me (errr... I mean "Likes how I dance when drunk.") All the ladies like me... (Errr... think I'm a pig...) and my most famous quote was "You want to know my vision? Dollar signs. Money. I want to retire on some tropical island filled with naked women. THAT'S my vision. That's Zefram Cochrane. This historical guy you keep talking about: I've never met him. Can't say I ever will." By the way, have you seen a female cybernetic zombie like thing recently? I've been looking for it. (It has an eyepiece, as well... and looks all greyish, like all the other borg...) What was it's designation? Tertiary Injunction of Quasimatrix Zero-One? No... that's not it... Tertiary adjunct? (Ahh. I cant remember. Must be too much drink. Was drunk sick when I met her flying around on the Phoenix.) Well? Have you seen the female zombie, or not? Well, if you see her, tell her "Z" says hi, and see ya borg suckers, you can't stop my ship!

(This user is obsessed with the Borg, and particularly the Borg Queen, and Seven of Nine. Most likely you will find him working on Borg articles. [If he isn't drunk, or taking a leak in the middle of the woods, or flying around on his warp ship looking for (naked) women on tropical islands, or messing around with the "Vulcan Love Slave" holoprogram on DS9, or getting holographically drunk at Vic's Lounge, or hanging around with his energy companion, or trying to seduce Deanna Troi over a glass of tequila, or any other infamously large number of bad ideas he can come up with at will.) (Note from user: Or I could be on Romulus, getting (female) senators drunk with Romulan ale...)

Note about user: Just disregard the above, just a little messing around. Instead, just find me on Borg articles. (Cochrane likes cybernetic zombies......)

Likes

 * The Borg. (And finds the Borg Queen attractive, laugh if you'd like.)
 * Seven of Nine. (Finds her attractive too.)
 * Locutus of Borg. (Interesting character, should've been kept longer.)
 * The Borg Queen. (As said before, she is hot.)
 * Jadzia Dax. (Quite possibly, the hottest chick in all of Star Trek.)
 * Kira. (I'll never understand why people find her ugly.)
 * Uhura. (Not Uhura as an old lady, mind you. Just Uhura from TOS.)
 * Commander T'pol. (Crazy, hottie Vulcan chicks FTW.)
 * Deanna Troi. (Although not when she is pretending to be mind-raped.)
 * Hoshi Sato. (Oops, that's Empress Sato to you.)
 * Female Romulans. (We all know they're cute, fluffy, and absolutely evil.)
 * The Data/Tasha Yar affair. (We all know it, we all love it.)
 * T'pau. (We all see her, and think she is hot, but a pain in the butt.)

Dislikes

 * Ezri Dax (Why do people find her even remotely attractive? She is awful!)
 * Kes. (I don't like chicks who like to kill people with their mind. Yuck.)
 * V'Las. (Dirty, Romulan-loving traitor.)
 * Remans. (They killed Data!)
 * Kathryn Janeway. (Too strict, and killing people turns this chick on.)
 * The Vulcan High Command. (Hates humans.)
 * Hoshi Sato only being sleazy in the mirror universe. (Self-Explanatory.)
 * The Death of Kirk. (Killed by a mere thug.)
 * Seven of Nine. (I like her, and I don't. She is too crazy sometimes.)
 * T'Pau. (Enjoys inflicting pain way too much.)
 * B'elanna Torres (Sure, shes hot, but she's crazy too.)
 * Orion Slave Girls. (Way, way, way too sleazy for my tastes.)

Favorite Trek Chicks (In Order)

 * Jadzia Dax. (Hottest.)
 * Hoshi Sato (Mirror.) (Second Hottest.)
 * T'Pol. (Third Hottest. Sexiest Vulcan ever.)
 * Hoshi Sato (Non-Mirror.) (Fourth Hottest.)
 * Seven of Nine. (Fifth Hottest.)
 * Feezal Phlox. (Dr. Phlox's Wife. Sixth hottest.)
 * Female Andorians. (Seventh hottest of them all.)
 * Jhamel. (Aenar Chick from Enterprise. Eighth hottest.)
 * Uhura. (African-American Hottie from TOS. Ninth.)
 * Kes. (Hot but crazy in the extreme. Tenth.)
 * Trill Females in General. (Usually hot in at least some degree.)
 * Deanna Troi. (When she isn't pretending to be mind-raped like a #$%#.)
 * Kathryn Janeway. (13th. Moderately Ugly.)
 * B'Elanna Torres. (Hot if you dont count the Klingon sadomasochism stuff.)
 * Tasha Yar. (Moderately, to Moderately Quite, ugly.)
 * Orion Slave Girls. (Way overdone, and way too sleazy, and actually ugly.)
 * Deanna Troi when she pretends to be raped. (Only vaguely attractive.)

And the award for the Ugliest goes to...

 * Ezri Dax. I would rather die than do her, quite frankly. Ezri Dax is hideously ugly. I find the Borg Queen more attractive than Ezri Dax. (I would in fact do the Borg Queen, and quite probably enjoy it.) However, I would only do Ezri if forced at gunpoint, and even then I would find it to be torture. To get anything from me, Ezri Dax would have to rape me. Why did they kill off Jadzia, and give us this awful person? Not only is Ezri a badly portrayed character, they wanted to make her hot, but they only suceeded in making an Epic Phail. Yuck. Go get me a barf bag.

And the Prettiest goes to...

 * Jadzia Dax. I basically stare at her and drool every time I see her appear, (Julian Bashir, I totally feel your pain, man.) Shes the one I think of whenever I think of Star Trek hotties. Jadzia Dax is incredible, and is a million times more attractive than even Seven of Nine or T'Pol, or even Mirror Hoshi. Respectively, the Dax girls represent two extremes, an angel from heaven, and an ugly... thing... from the gutter. Jadzia is the former, and Ezri is the latter. I will never understand why they killed off my favorite character and replaced her with that... what's the word... sleazebag?.... that Ezri is. Ezri is just about the worst looking character in Star Trek. Jadzia Dax... well... to give you an idea, I would do absolutely anything she told me to. Anything at all. I'd gargle her bathwater if she wanted me to, rofl.

Prettiest by Species.

 * Borg. (Seven of Nine.)
 * Human. (Hoshi Sato.)
 * Terran. (Mirror Hoshi.)
 * Vulcan. (T'pol, T'Pau.)
 * Ocampa. (Kes.)
 * Trill. (Jadzia Dax.)
 * Klingon. (B'elanna Torres.)
 * Orion. (None, rofl.)
 * Denobulan (Feezal Phlox.)
 * Betazoid. (Deanna Troi.)

Best Enterprise Episodes, Characters, and Ideas

 * T'pol
 * Hoshi Sato
 * Jonathan Archer
 * Doctor Phlox
 * Trip

Episodes:
 * Harbinger
 * A night in sickbay
 * Zero Hour
 * Terra Prime
 * 'All of Season Three and Four

Ideas:
 * The little clue that Archer and T'pol might be... involved.... ROFL.
 * Trip and T'pol
 * That one tiny little possible clue about T'pol and Hoshi was totally ROFL
 * That little clue about T'pol and Phlox was funny.
 * Adding a dog to the ship. Porthos was interesting.
 * Causing Pon Farr Seeing Tpol skulk around and try to seduce Phlox was hot
 * That decontamination scene.
 * The Mirror Hoshi being sleazy A pushy Hoshi is hot...
 * The Female Uniforms in the Mirror Universe. (T'pol lol.)
 * The Mirror Scene where Tpol sits in the captains chair and seems to smoke.
 * Trip and T'pol have sex that was just so unlikely. Unexpected completely.